I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

As the days in isolation have turned to weeks, and rumor is that the weeks will likely be extended to months, my anxiety has been mostly under control. Yes, I have raised one of my meds back to where it was before surgery preventatively, but I haven't felt the need for the additional tranquilizer and that's a good thing! But, surprising. I reached out to a bunch of friends around me who similarly deal with anxiety and, for the most part, we are all unbelievably calm during this storm. It's like we've been training for this our whole lives! We see everyone around us beginning to feel the way we do every day and, in a strange way, it's extremely comforting. It almost normalizes how I feel. Feeling nervous, restless or tense? Having trouble sleeping? All those nights while everyone else was sleeping fine, I had insomnia. Now everyone else has insomnia and I could sleep all day! Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety? Afraid to go out shopping, for...

“Know that we are connected in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.” Rev. Dr. Lynn Ungar I should be working right now. DH took the LO out for a few hours so that I could catch up with a few things after working full time, maintaining a household full time and parenting full time this last week amidst the pandemic. But I can’t focus. These last few days have been trying, with difficult decisions to make every day. Go to the store or shop online? Bring the LO or leave her at home? Go outside even though it’s raining or stay inside and watch TV? Work some more or play a little longer? Fight or flight? So, having to worry about what other people think or feel about my decisions is the last thing I want to stress about right now! I never was “the popular girl”, and I know that I don’t share the popular public opinion right now. But you know what? I am ok with that. Everyone has their own ways of dealing and coping with things, and right now this world is very new to all of us and no ...

Tomorrow is my first day back to work! Except that, it isn't. The world is dealing with the Covid19 "corona" Pandemic and I work in an educational institution so we have been shut down for the next 2 weeks in hopes of reducing the spread. Not only shut down, but quarantined at home as much as humanly possible as well. Did I mention that daycares as closed as well? Yes, that's right, I will be quarantined with my 4yr old! And possibly DH as well! Help! (Ps. happy anniversary DH!) I am almost glad that I was hit by a nasty cough this last week that slowed me down and made me rest up, because now I am expected to do what I can for work from home WITH my LO at my feet. She asks to go out nearly every day so keeping her home will be a challenge! So, one month post-op requires some stats to be posted I think, no? I feel like I should have lost more in pounds, but I am not measuring inches and I'm assuming those are catching up to the weightloss as I hit a stall t...