I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

I’ve read many books, on so many things, but I had basically avoided reading anything on BPD until recently. I finally decided if I was going to spend my time reading up on other people’s “stuff”, then maybe I should spend some time reading up on my own afflictions. But I didn’t want something clinical; very few people in my life truly understand what goes on inside my head, including myself, so I wanted to find others who I could relate to and who could possibly help me figure things out. I did a little research on which books might fit my needs and the first one I picked up did not disappoint! In fact, I devoured it in 2 short evenings because I could not put it down. "I'm Telling the Truth, But I'm Lying" by Bassey IkpiI was so on point, I feel like she was writing about me through half of this book! “I need to prove to you that I didn’t enter the world broken. I… had experiences that turned me into these fragmented sentences… I didn’t just show up as a life alrea...

Apparently, I am really bad at keeping up with #CurrentlyReading, because once again I am late posting as this book is already finished! Clearly I have been reading more than writing these days! Actually, I tend to do that when I discover a new author. Plus, I wanted to get though all of her other stand alone novels in anticipation of her new book, The Wives , coming out later this week.  And that brings me to: Atheists Who Kneel and Pray by Tarryn Fisher It wasn’t a bad read, but I did struggle to get through it because I was losing interest in the subject. With the other books, I liked that I wasn’t always able to predict the outcomes, the psychological aspect to them, the twists and turns; but this one was very straight forward. Which is funny, because that’s the type of story I once preferred, but now I find myself needing something that uses your brain a little more. So, overall, this is how Tarryn Fisher’s books stacked up for me: 2019 F*ck Marriage – loved it,...

Remember when I said I go through reading droughts and then I simply devour books? Well, I did it again, because I actually liked Tarryn Fisher's F*ck Marriage so much, I went on to speed through F*ck Love , I Can Be A Better You (aka Bad Mommy) and now I am almost done with Mud Vein too! F*ck Love by Tarryn FIsher I Can Be A Better You by Tarryn Fisher Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher Despite the similarity in some of the titles, these books are not part of a series. However, she does have a few series and I plan to read those after I am done with all of the standalone books. Her stories have an aspect of romance to them, but in a dark and twisted way; they are mysterious, thriller style, suspenseful and psychological. Totally not chick-lit, but I cannot put them down! I have not been reading them in the order they were written, and because of this I can see a change in her writing - an improvement. The earlier books ...

I don't think I read one book the whole way through all summer long; I just couldn't get into anything. Once Fall started I finished off all of the remaining chick-lit reads I had lined up and then I read a couple of self-helps books recommended by my therapist and a couple of friends as well, and then the Friend Zone book I mentioned in my last post. While the last book wasn't amazing by any means, it did remind me that there are other authors out there that I should try! So, I went scouring for something new and I was pleasantly surprised by what I found! F*ck Marriage by Tarryn Fisher I couldn't put this book down! I was that girl with her nose in her book (now, cellphone) all the way to work again. It's a little bit chick-lit, a little bit romance (usually NOT my thing) and a little bit of heartbreak too. Divorce, affairs, engagements, and a really popular blog as the office setting! And the title was misleading, as in it does not condemn marriage the ...

The other day a friend mentioned that she had nothing to read and was looking for suggestions. I told her that I had exhausted all of my usual authors myself and had been picking up some random books these last couple of months. At that time I was reading "The Friend Zone" by Abby Jimenez, a cheap Wal-Mart find that wasn't totally horrible. Not a glowing review, is it? I will work on that! The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez Anyhow, we got to talking and she actually remembered that I used to have a widget on my blog displaying my digital bookshelf and she said she kind of missed it. While I don't feel like starting that up again, because most of my traffic is click-through and subscriber based, I thought I would start a new #CurrentlyReading hashtag so you can find book suggestions (or cautions) whenever you wanted to. Now, bear with me, I either go through a book a week... sometimes more, or I don't touch a book for months. I am kind of a book bipolar!

For the longest time our LO had little to no interest in television aside from her Baby Signing Time videos; until 18 months at least. Not a bad thing, but sometimes we wished she would watch something on her own  just so we could get 10 minutes of peace to whip up dinner or jump in the shower! Well that day finally came last summer when she fell in love with Masha and the Bear, an originally Russian animated television series for children, and not not a day goes by that we don't watch at least one episode! Thankfully, I am quite fond of the series myself so I really don't mind. I mean, I was excited when Season 3 showed up on Netflix! And, for those of you who know it, am I the only one who thinks the parents must have died in the beaten up ambulance only to be eaten by the wolves, leaving Masha in the care of Bear? Or is it just me? Anyhow, so, funny story... despite the fact that one doesn't remember the conversation and the other wasn't nearly as amused as we w...

It seems unreal to me now, but 3 years ago today we found out that our first FET with our new doctor had failed. Yes, this was technically our 3rd failure, 5th embryo, and we were pros at failure by now... but this one was different. It had taken some convincing to go back into treatment and start all over again. Even though I knew in my gut that this doctor would be the right fit, the thought of changing clinics and starting at square one again was daunting! But, in hindsight, it was worth more than words can describe! From our first appointment with him, everything was just different. He got it, he got me! He understood where things went wrong and how to make them right again. He had answers for my million and one questions, and believe me when I say I asked them all! He was so on point with everything that we learned from this failure and went on to have a successful pregnancy the next time around. A pregnancy that turned out perfect, but was at risk early on. A ...

Whoa, freaky moment! First off, if you read the title of this post and had no idea what it was referring to, shame on you! The only reason I can spell "chrysanthemum" is because of Anne Shirley, Anne with an "e". I grew up watching Anne of Green Gables over and over again, memorizing every single word. I have traveled to PEI specifically to indulge in anything and everything related to the series. I have seen various plays, read the books, watched the movies, watched the spinoffs and even tried to watch the remake (I couldn't do it, although I have promised myself I would try again). I have even been to the Stratford Festival just to see Megan Follows, aka Anne, act in Amadeus. Maybe I should add, I AM CANADIAN! Anyhow, back to the freaky moment. I currently working to partially remove a tattoo on my back in order to cover it up with something that is more me. I am also working on a tattoo in honor of my daughter. So, while she is named after a flower I w...

I suppose the majority of my CMM readers have always been those close to my journey TTC, personally or following a similar path, but my goal with IABYA is to be a bit more broad in scope and reach a larger audience. I am not looking to take over the world wide web and become an empire, just a little slice! I will continue to keep this as a personal journal of sorts, but I also hope to share guest posts and curated content as well ( in other words - if you have something to say... please message me, I want to hear from you ). There is so much information out there regarding our health, parenting, relationships and anything else you can think of, but sometimes a story jumps out at me and I just feel like it is something I need to share! So, I will try and post a list of interesting reads from time to time alongside my own story. Some may be correlated or intertwined, others may just be an interesting read. I may even dig something up from my old blog! Being a new mom as well as a...