I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

Happy Birthday to me! 42 laps around the sun; some waaaaayyyy longer than others, and a few of them far too short for sure. But I made it alive and mostly in 1 piece; minus 100lbs in the last 18 months – woohoo! But now that I’m here, is this really it? "The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42" The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy , Douglas Adams I’m pretty sure the quote above has become more famous than the novel itself. I mean, how many people have heard the quote but never even read the book? And while geeks around the world have wasted years of their lives trying to put some deep, symbolic, mathematical meaning to the number, the author himself states that there is, in fact, no meaning to it at all. “It was a joke. It had to be a number, an ordinary, smallish number, and I chose that one. Binary representations, base thirteen, Tibetan monks are all complete nonsense. I sat at my desk, stared into the garden and thought ‘42 will ...

Run away, but we're running in circles Run away, run away... YouTube Playlist - IABYA

Hair is grey and the fires are burning So many dreams on the shelf You say I wanted you to be proud of me I always wanted that myself When you gonna make up your mind When you gonna love you as much as I do When you gonna make up your mind 'Cause things are gonna change so fast YouTube Playlist - IABYA

But now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved... PS. This video, and others, can now be found on my YouTube Playlist - IABYA

Since I was 17 I've always hated my body And it feels like my body's hated me Can somebody find me a pill To make me un-afraid of me? Seen every therapist, but I'm a cynical bitch Don't like to talk about my feelings I take another hit, I find another fake fix 'Cause it's easier than healing I don't wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I'll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I'm just scared to be happy Since I was 22 I've been with somebody who loves me And I've been tryna believe it's true But my head always messes up my heart No matter what I do Seen every therapist, but I'm a cynical bitch Don't like to talk about my feelings I take another sip, I swear it's my last fix 'Cause it's easier than healing 'Cause I don't wanna be this way forever Keep telling myself that I'll get better Every time I try, I always stop me Maybe I'm just scared to...

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright, because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now there's a steel knife, in my windpipe I can't breathe, but I still fight, while I can fight As long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight High off of love drunk from my hate It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more that I suffer I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown She resuscitates me, she fucking hates me, And I love it, wait Where you going, I'm leaving you No you ain't, come back We're running right back, here we go again It's so insane 'cause when it's going good, it's going great I'm Superman, with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane But when it's bad, it...

You and me were always with each other Before we knew the others was ever there You and me we belong together Just like a breath needs the air I told you if you called I would come runnin' Across the highs the lows and the in between You and me we've got two minds that think as one And our hearts march to the same beat They say everything it happens for a reason You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart Guiding your direction when you're riding through the dark, Oh that's you and me You and me we're searching' for the same light Desperate for a cure to this disease Well some days are better than others, But I fear no thing as long as you're with me They say everything' it happens for a reason You… You and me we're searching' for the same light Desperate for a cure to this disease Well some days are better than others, But I fear no thing as long as you're w...

I am sitting In the morning At the diner On the corner I am waiting At the counter For the man To pour the coffee And he fills it Only halfway And before I even argue He is looking Out the window At somebody Coming in "It is always Nice to see you" Says the man Behind the counter To the woman Who has come in She is shaking Her umbrella And I look The other way As they are kissing Their hellos And I'm pretending Not to see them And instead I pour the milk I open Up the paper There's a story Of an actor Who had died While he was drinking It was no one I had heard of And I'm turning To the horoscope And looking For the funnies When I'm feeling Someone watching me And so I raise my head There's a woman On the outside Looking inside Does she see me? No, she does not Really see me 'Cause she sees Her own reflection And I'm trying Not to notice That she's hitching Up her skirt And while she...

Another day, another sin Another day I'm late again Oh, just like that my money's spent Where did it all go? Another night, another heart Another one leaves in the dark And I'm searching for my counterpart Where did they all go? And I lock every single door And I look behind me even more Now turned into someone that I swore I would never be I wish I could go back to playing barbies in my room They never say that you gotta grow up, quite this soon How fast things change, and now I'm here and all I wanna do Is go back to playing barbies in my room I see it on my father's face Another line that comes with age I know that time will have its way Where did it all go? They say that things were simple then Although I don't remember when I wanna know what happens next Where do we all go? And I lock every single door And I look behind me even more And now turned into someone that I swore I would never be Oh, I wish I could go back to playin...