I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

In June of 2017, after running Creating My Monster for a decade, I wrote my first “Last Post” to close that lengthy chapter of my life, the end of an era! At the time my daughter was 1.5 years old, and I felt that her story, and mine, needed a fresh start. And, so became I Am – Because You Are. But, with that said, it is no longer up to me to share her story. While lovingly referred to all this time as my LO (little one), she is no longer little. At 6 years old, she has very strong opinions, she already tells me what I can and cannot share with others (especially when it comes to her photo), and she has an absolute right to privacy. I protect her on all other social media platforms and, starting now, I will do the same here. While the audience for IABYA is far less than CMM’s, mainly because it is no longer affiliated with any blogging communities and I rarely promote products or apply for partnerships anymore, it does reach wider than I am comfortable with. I have shared less and les...

On this day, 6 years ago, I never thought that I could love my baby girl more than I did that very first moment that she was in my arms. But with every day that passes, my love for her continues to grow, endlessly.  Her smile is infectious, her laugh is contagious, her love is unconditional, and she wears her heart on her sleeve. She is strong, independent, brave, and beautiful - both inside and out. She is my heart, my soul, my sun, my moon, and all of my stars. She is my world and she will always be the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me.  I love you with all my heart. Happy 6th birthday. 

With her 6th birthday just around the corner, and her first ever report card expected tonight, I have been thinking a lot about what comes next. Daycare was a bubble, it was safe, familiar, and protective. It gave us everything we needed when we needed it the most. And while our transition to kindergarten has not been seamless, it has been far better than I had originally anticipated.  So, clearly, she’s a big kid now; it’s time for change and she is more than ready for the challenge. I need to encourage her to try new things, allow her to discover whether she can step out of her comfort zone and learn to overcome her fears and uncertainties. I need to take a step back and let her learn to solve more problems on her own, let her experiment and let her learn from her mistakes. I need her to know that, even though she might not like it, failure IS an option and it's completely normal and one of the best ways to learn. I want to build her self confidence and self-esteem, make her beli...

An unexpected email, with 2 very simple questions: What’s been your biggest win of the back-to-school season? What’s your biggest struggle? Let’s start with the first since it’s an easy one. She loves school! She loves taking the bus to school. She loves going to daycare after school. She loves the Breakfast Club. She loves the hot lunches. She loves her teacher. She loved her first Ped Day. Honestly, there isn’t one thing about the whole school experience that I would say she doesn’t love, except that she never gets homework so she sometimes gives some to herself – but that will wear off quickly once she hits Grade 1 I’m sure! SO, all in all, it’s a huge win! However, as the parent, I do see an emerging struggle that she is blissfully unaware of for the time being. And so, advocating for my child has taken precedence once again. There is no such thing as a “bad kid” - just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings & needs the only way they know...

We have had an eventful few days, and even more for the week to come. Last Friday the LO had an emotional goodbye with one of the girls who works at daycare. It seems like they had bonded in a short amount of time, and after hearing that this girl would be leaving for school herself, our LO was overcome with emotions. She internalizes first, while processing, and either resolves it on her own or bursts. This time she burst, and she kept repeating that the girl "really likes her" and asking "why is she leaving for school" over and over again. The thing is, while she has bonded with her over the last couple of months, it's nothing in comparison to the attachment she has with her teacher. They met when she was only 3 months old, she's spent time with her on and off throughout her years at daycare, but has actually been in her class for the last 2 years! While her emotions were genuine, I don't feel as though they were truly attached to that particular girl ...

The lucky ones don't even know what this is a picture of. But to me, 6 years ago today, this was all my hopes and dreams captured in one grainy image. And I am so glad we took a minute to capture it, because this is who keeps my heart beating.  Every. Single. Day.  You keep me safe, I'll keep you wild.

This is the first year that the LO will be buying gifts for Mom and Dad at Christmas, chosen 100% by her. I took her shopping over the weekend, with a budget, and she will go with her Dad sometime between now and Christmas to shop for me. It amazes me how good she is with numbers and basic math, so I started teaching her about money as well… and the value on things too. Its funny how she really wants a 10$ piece of junk until I tell her she needs to spend HER money that she is saving on it! So, with a budget of 30$, she made some interesting choices for a total of $26.44. On the way back to the car she asked me how much she had left, because her math is limited to single digits right now, and I rounded up to $4. She asks me what happens since she didn’t spend the whole $30. I explained to her that nothing happens, she stayed under budget and that was good. She thought for a minute and said “so, since I didn’t spend it, I have 4$ now?”. Um, no! I told her you just spent MY money, so y...

I am not sure how this happened, but as my BFF put it, I must have blinked because our LO is not so little anymore! In just a matter of days she is turning 5 years old!!! Ok, so she thinks she is 4 going on 15 most days, but that’s just a part of who she is, and I wouldn’t change her for the world. Strong willed children become adults who change the world, as long as we can hang on for the ride and resist the temptation to “tame” the spirit out of them… She has very clear thoughts and opinions, she is fiercely independent, a leader, strong willed, curious, smart, funny, resilient, kind-hearted, creative and HAPPY. In these last couple of weeks, she has become more articulate than ever and conversing with her is always full of surprises! Now we are going to have to watch what we say around her! She is more than I ever could have asked for and everything I have always wanted all rolled up in one. If I had to weather all those storms just to get to her, then they were worth every single...

Fall is here and, once again, Mother Nature is about to show us how lovely it is to simply let things go; shed the dead weight, release the old and make way for the new. And for once I am listening, welcoming a fresh start once and for all! The older I get, the more I realize that I don't want to be around drama, conflict or stress anymore. I just want my house to feel like a home, good (for you) food on the table and to be surrounded by the company of positive, supportive, loyal and happy people. That’s it. That’s all.  The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own homes Harold B. Lee Let’s start with my immediate family. As someone who has been surrounded by dysfunctional families her whole life, my own as well as others’ experiences, I can honestly say that the whole “ blood is thicker than water ” quote people freely throw around is complete BS! Just because someone is a blood relative, does not mean that they have an innate ability to provide the lov...

Today the LO got to meet the neighbor’s new puppy for the first time and she was very excited! I knew it would go one of 2 ways; she would be afraid, or she would begin begging for one. Well, let’s just say she wasn’t afraid at all! We barely got to my car and she asked me why she can’t have a puppy. Ugh. Me: Maybe when you’re older, we can discuss it. LO: Which number older? Me: Like D's age, 16 or 17. LO: But which number am I now? ME: 4 and a half, almost 5. LO: (counting her way up to 10 out loud and on her fingers) But that’s too long! I was going through the drive thru so I thought it would distract her. LO: But why not now? I AM a big kid already! I’m growing! ME: Because, we have a cat and cats and dogs don’t like each other. LO: So we can bring the cat back to the store and get a PUPPY! Me: I’ve had her 14 years! I am not bringing her back to the store! LO: (pout) ME: Why don't we bring YOU back to the store? LO: Because I'm NOT an ANIMAL! I...