I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

With her 6th birthday just around the corner, and her first ever report card expected tonight, I have been thinking a lot about what comes next. Daycare was a bubble, it was safe, familiar, and protective. It gave us everything we needed when we needed it the most. And while our transition to kindergarten has not been seamless, it has been far better than I had originally anticipated.  So, clearly, she’s a big kid now; it’s time for change and she is more than ready for the challenge. I need to encourage her to try new things, allow her to discover whether she can step out of her comfort zone and learn to overcome her fears and uncertainties. I need to take a step back and let her learn to solve more problems on her own, let her experiment and let her learn from her mistakes. I need her to know that, even though she might not like it, failure IS an option and it's completely normal and one of the best ways to learn. I want to build her self confidence and self-esteem, make her beli...

When I want to chat, I text - a lot. When I want to talk, I call and sometimes talk for hours. When I want to go out somewhere, I invite someone along for company. When there is something to celebrate. we get together and celebrate! This is who I am. I am social and I crave interaction. I spend quality time with people that I love! But not everyone is like me. Some are the complete opposite so I try to slow my roll. I remind myself that not everyone is “available”. I can text, but they won’t answer. I could call, but if they answer I’d feel like I would be interrupting. I’d offer to hang out, but the answer would almost always be no. And as for a celebration? Well – Covid has that covered for now! A few in my life are the latter. One who I live with. A couple who I cannot see myself living without. Disappearing for months, resurfacing like no time has passed. Only available once in a blue moon, and even then. Never part of a crowd, sometimes one-on-one, but usually not. It’...

I think by now every parent has seen the viral, and powerful, video of the dad staying calm and patient through his toddler’s uncharacteristically bad tantrum. If you haven’t already seen it, you can find it here . Closer to the end, you see the child simply sitting in her father’s arms with her head on his chest, melting into calmness, in what is commonly referred to as the Heartbeat Hug. The idea behind this hug is to provide a sense of security, to reinforce that you are always a safe place for your child to fall, and to soothe them by synchronizing your heartbeats and breathing together. Clearly you, the parent, need to be calm as well for this to work! The thing about the Heartbeat Hug is that it is not limited to tantrums. This last week alone we have used the hug three times, not because of an emotional outburst but rather an inability to communicate. She has something she wants to say but struggles to find the words; you see that she is overcome with an emotion that she can’t l...

The implications of Covid 19 for mental health are undeniable; the uncertainty of it all has negatively affected many people and created new barriers for those who were already suffering. The constant struggle, the barrage of social media, the endless losses, the fear of the unknown, the isolation, and the ever growing pessimism - it's a lot to wrap your head around. I stumbled on this story again while archiving my old blog last week, and with today's gloomy weather it felt like a good time to share it again. The Story of Two Wolves An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, com...

As some of you know, I once had a long running blog about my own infertility and becoming a mother. I stopped writing there, and for the blogging community I was associated with, in 2017 for a variety of reasons and I began this one soon after, unassociated. Recently I have been saving each and every post from that blog, one by one, and putting them into a word document so when my daughter starts the "you don't love me, you never wanted me" bullshit, which we all know will happen, I can prove to her how badly I really did! No no, I'm joking, really! Am I? Anyhow, some 400 pages later, I realized that I have stumbled on a number of posts that still resonate with me today so I have flagged a couple of them to share here, again. I have no idea about the origins of this one, but I have always loved the moral of the story. The Cracked Pot An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a ...

Hey! It’s #BellLetsTalk day! So, lets talk about mental health! While I still haven’t been officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist, it’s looking clearer and clearer that Bipolar II will be the end result; so much so that I already started the medication one week ago today after a 5 day long “episode”. And while the diagnosis of being bipolar explains so many things from the past, it poses limitless questions for the future. So, to not get overwhelmed by it all, I am simply trying to live in the now and learn to identify and control my inner turbulence, before projecting it all around me whenever possible. I haven’t been doing so well with that, but I need to give myself a break and take it one day at a time – or at least that’s what I’ve been told 1000 times! Admittedly though, I have found myself putting my guards back up again over the last year. Between weight loss surgery, a pandemic, and now the mental health struggle I simply needed to pull some people back in (that had previou...

In some cases, the more things have changed the more they’ve stayed the same. But while many people seem to enjoy focusing on all the negatives these last (how many) months, I am always trying to find the bright side to things. And, in doing so, I have unexpectedly found several silver linings to my Covid world. Let’s start with my weight loss and overall health. I am now nearly 10 months out from surgery. A few weeks ago, I had my follow up with nursing and am happy to report that I have surpassed their expectations! The weight loss goal they set is to lose 60% of your excess weight by 12 months post-op. At only 9 months out, at the time, I had already lost 66% of my excess weight and will continue to lose until 12-18 months out. I firmly believe that I would not have been this successful had I been at work because I wouldn’t have had the discipline that I am able to have at home. Re-learning how to nourish yourself is a long process. For me, it involves reading every single label, mo...

Fall is here and, once again, Mother Nature is about to show us how lovely it is to simply let things go; shed the dead weight, release the old and make way for the new. And for once I am listening, welcoming a fresh start once and for all! The older I get, the more I realize that I don't want to be around drama, conflict or stress anymore. I just want my house to feel like a home, good (for you) food on the table and to be surrounded by the company of positive, supportive, loyal and happy people. That’s it. That’s all.  The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own homes Harold B. Lee Let’s start with my immediate family. As someone who has been surrounded by dysfunctional families her whole life, my own as well as others’ experiences, I can honestly say that the whole “ blood is thicker than water ” quote people freely throw around is complete BS! Just because someone is a blood relative, does not mean that they have an innate ability to provide the lov...

Oh, happy day! It has been 6 months since I had my sleeve surgery, and I am happy to report that I am over the moon with my progress! Yesterday I spoke with my dietician and she told me that I was on track and she was happy with my daily intakes of protein, carbs, and such. She said that they expect sleeve patients to lose 60% of their excess body weight by one-year post- surgery, and at only 6 months out I have already lost 52%! She said that she cannot predict the future, but she feels very strongly that I will surpass the 60% in the next 6 months. Fingers crossed! Today I spoke with my endocrinologist, and my only disappointment was that she couldn’t see me in person so that I could give her a big hug! Stupid Covid! This doctor had managed my diabetes while I was pregnant and has followed me through to today. She is also the one who strongly encouraged me to consider the sleeve and she wrote my referral close to 3yrs ago now. Today, she was happy to inform me that my A1C level...