Writing out loud...
Hey! It’s #BellLetsTalk day! So, lets talk about mental health!
While I still haven’t been officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist, it’s looking clearer and clearer that Bipolar II will be the end result; so much so that I already started the medication one week ago today after a 5 day long “episode”. And while the diagnosis of being bipolar explains so many things from the past, it poses limitless questions for the future. So, to not get overwhelmed by it all, I am simply trying to live in the now and learn to identify and control my inner turbulence, before projecting it all around me whenever possible. I haven’t been doing so well with that, but I need to give myself a break and take it one day at a time – or at least that’s what I’ve been told 1000 times!
Admittedly though, I have found myself putting my guards back up again over the last year. Between weight loss surgery, a pandemic, and now the mental health struggle I simply needed to pull some people back in (that had previously been pushed to the side) and I had to leave some others standing on the other side of my walls. And, that’s OK!
I was recently reading about a study which concluded that every 7 years we go through profound changes, and while you certainly find yourself in a different place in your life, there is also a good chance that you've replaced half (or more) of your closest friends with new ones. They claim that only about 30% of your closest friends remain tried and true, and it takes that same amount of time to develop that bond with one another. And if I think back to 7 years ago, I will have to agree with this! I can count on one hand who my closest friends are today, and all but 1 of them was in the picture 7 years ago. In fact, the other 4 have been in my life between 10 - 30+ years now; they’re lifers!
What are the (supposedly) top 5 signs that after 7 years you will always remain friends?
But there is a downside, if I can call it that, to having bonds so close you might call them attachment issues (they're not, I swear). While it's a wonderful feeling to know that you have people who truly care about you, it's a horrible feeling to know that you have people who care about you so much that they worry! I don't want people to worry about me. "Then stop doing things that make people worry" - I know, I know! Maybe that's another reason why the ocean of friends I once had is more of a small pond now; but I love my pond.
And, not to sound cliche but, I'm fine - really!
While I still haven’t been officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist, it’s looking clearer and clearer that Bipolar II will be the end result; so much so that I already started the medication one week ago today after a 5 day long “episode”. And while the diagnosis of being bipolar explains so many things from the past, it poses limitless questions for the future. So, to not get overwhelmed by it all, I am simply trying to live in the now and learn to identify and control my inner turbulence, before projecting it all around me whenever possible. I haven’t been doing so well with that, but I need to give myself a break and take it one day at a time – or at least that’s what I’ve been told 1000 times!
Admittedly though, I have found myself putting my guards back up again over the last year. Between weight loss surgery, a pandemic, and now the mental health struggle I simply needed to pull some people back in (that had previously been pushed to the side) and I had to leave some others standing on the other side of my walls. And, that’s OK!
I was recently reading about a study which concluded that every 7 years we go through profound changes, and while you certainly find yourself in a different place in your life, there is also a good chance that you've replaced half (or more) of your closest friends with new ones. They claim that only about 30% of your closest friends remain tried and true, and it takes that same amount of time to develop that bond with one another. And if I think back to 7 years ago, I will have to agree with this! I can count on one hand who my closest friends are today, and all but 1 of them was in the picture 7 years ago. In fact, the other 4 have been in my life between 10 - 30+ years now; they’re lifers!
What are the (supposedly) top 5 signs that after 7 years you will always remain friends?
- You always feel secure with one another.
- You don’t have to pretend; you can just be yourself.
- They are the first person you call, whether it’s good or bad.
- You consider each other like family more than friends.
- You are comfortable with each others presence, even in complete silence.
So, honestly, complete silence might still be kind of awkward for me no matter who you are, but there are 2 people that this would be totally (OK, 90%) OK with for me - it's a start!
So, why did this happen? Well, I've always had a decent read on people, but as I've aged (or maybe matured is the better word) I've become a lot more selective about who I’ve kept at arm's length and who I’ve embraced with all my heart. When I became pregnant, I took a good look at who was around me and did a nice little clean up. I knew then that I would never have the time or energy to waste on people who only cared when it was convenient for them or when they needed something from me – and I continue to practice this today.
But there is a downside, if I can call it that, to having bonds so close you might call them attachment issues (they're not, I swear). While it's a wonderful feeling to know that you have people who truly care about you, it's a horrible feeling to know that you have people who care about you so much that they worry! I don't want people to worry about me. "Then stop doing things that make people worry" - I know, I know! Maybe that's another reason why the ocean of friends I once had is more of a small pond now; but I love my pond.
And, not to sound cliche but, I'm fine - really!
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