Anxiety is like a weed...
Anxiety is a chameleon; it manifests itself in different ways. It comes and goes as it pleases and often strikes without warning or reason. It is unpredictable, and just when you think you have it all figured out, you don’t.
Going on the assumption that I have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) coupled with generalized anxiety, I (along with my therapist and GP) decided to reduce my anxiety meds as we come into summer, but only slightly. I dropped the dose by ¼ with the intention of dropping to ½ by the end of next month.
But, I am struggling.
DH has been traveling again, work is work, things are piling up at home, and so on… but I am also facing some health/medical decisions right now that I have been relatively quiet about, and they are tough decisions to make; for myself, and for my family.
Yesterday DH and I went to an information session at the hospital actually. About half way through I felt like I was burning up, I started fanning myself with the handouts and noticed I seemed to be the only one feeling flushed. My heart started racing and my head began pounding. I closed my eyes and told myself to breath and next thing I know I was jolted awake by a paper slipping from my hand. I can’t explain it, but it’s as though I just shut down for a moment of time.
I had similar symptoms the day before, causing me to stay home from work, and I thought that I had caught the LO’s virus, but I believe this was purely stress induced as I am relatively fine today. Instead of previous outbursts of panic, I think I have learned to internalize a lot of the emotions and work through them, but this time my body just decided it needed a reboot.
Don’t we all need that sometimes?
So, while I am not ready to talk in depth about the issues at hand right now, I am trusting the struggle as I have many times in the past. Some people see a dandelion as a weed, others see it as a wish...
Going on the assumption that I have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) coupled with generalized anxiety, I (along with my therapist and GP) decided to reduce my anxiety meds as we come into summer, but only slightly. I dropped the dose by ¼ with the intention of dropping to ½ by the end of next month.
But, I am struggling.
DH has been traveling again, work is work, things are piling up at home, and so on… but I am also facing some health/medical decisions right now that I have been relatively quiet about, and they are tough decisions to make; for myself, and for my family.
Yesterday DH and I went to an information session at the hospital actually. About half way through I felt like I was burning up, I started fanning myself with the handouts and noticed I seemed to be the only one feeling flushed. My heart started racing and my head began pounding. I closed my eyes and told myself to breath and next thing I know I was jolted awake by a paper slipping from my hand. I can’t explain it, but it’s as though I just shut down for a moment of time.
I had similar symptoms the day before, causing me to stay home from work, and I thought that I had caught the LO’s virus, but I believe this was purely stress induced as I am relatively fine today. Instead of previous outbursts of panic, I think I have learned to internalize a lot of the emotions and work through them, but this time my body just decided it needed a reboot.
Don’t we all need that sometimes?
So, while I am not ready to talk in depth about the issues at hand right now, I am trusting the struggle as I have many times in the past. Some people see a dandelion as a weed, others see it as a wish...
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| June 2019 |
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