Choose Your Own Adventure – Covid Edition
After 45 days in lockdown/quarantine/work-from-home-and-parent-hell due to Covid-19, last Monday our government announced their tentative plan to reopen schools in the coming weeks; more specifically, daycares and primary schools only – which means us.
No one will be forced to send their children back to school or daycare, at least not until September depending on how things go. The government will even continue paying our daycare fees through August if we choose to keep our LO home, which is fantastic! But, at what cost to us?
Let the debates, mom shaming, judgment and guilt begin!
Within minutes of the announcement, one of my Facebook mom groups made a post saying that this is a choice parents must make, in order to do what’s best for their families and their individual situations, and they expect others to be respectful of everyone’s choices. Well, that lasted all of 2 minutes before people started commenting on what horrible parents you are if you are even considering sending your kids back; how dare you allow the government to use your children as lab rats, shame on you, you send your kids out into the world while you vacation safely at home, etc… And then the opposite side; if you are a stay at home parent you have no right to judge working parents for their choices, we don’t have the luxury of entertaining our kids all day, single parents need the support, those who have to go back to retail work need childcare, and… most importantly… for some people, their mental health depends on it!
That’s me! And, not only is it me, but it is also my daughter!
All the anxiety and fear that I had pushed aside these last weeks came bubbling through. I went into a full-on panic attack and had to call DH to help me. My ears were buzzing, my eyes were light sensitive, my breathing erratic and my heart was full on pounding out of my chest. I was gasping for air I was crying so hard. For the first time, in months, I needed a sedative. Because of my fears, because of my own guilt, because of the unknown, and because of everyone else’s belief that they can stick their nose in my business and make a decision that works best for MY family!
In our case, we will not be eligible to return until mid to late June as there is a priority system in place. Since we both get to work from home for now, there is no overwhelming need for care. But, we have seen the effects this new world has had on our mental states. Not DH so much, but myself and the LO. The nightmares, night terrors, sleep walking, defiance, fear of “the germs”, uncertainty, needing lights on everywhere and so on… this is not me and this is not her. She has started asking about her friends recently, her teacher and the park at daycare. Just today she said she wants to have naps at daycare (something she hasn’t done in about 30 days now). She is craving normalcy, and is acting it out in various ways because she cannot express it.
And we understand, because we feel the same.
So, all that to say… I have enough of my own mom-guilt, self-judgement, fears of the unknown and varying opinions on the whole thing. I don’t need other people shaming me because they think they know better. Do I trust our government? Not fully. Do I trust the medical advisors? Not completely. And even after researching information from all around the world, I see many sides to every argument in this pandemic (and at least I have tried to educate myself and not just followed our government blindly). But one thing I do know for sure is that I know my daycare inside out and I know they have the best interest of every single child at heart. Will we be sending her back? Yes. Will we send her back the day she is eligible? Undecided. Will she be there 50 hours a week like before? Probably not. Will I pull her out if I feel that she is in danger? In a heartbeat.
It’s like everyone has their own personal “choose your own adventure” book right now, and I don’t need anyone else turning the pages for me – thank you.You want to go back to school day one? Good decision for you. You want to keep your kids home through September? Fantastic. You want to test the waters before making a decision? Sounds good. You do you, we'll do us!
No one will be forced to send their children back to school or daycare, at least not until September depending on how things go. The government will even continue paying our daycare fees through August if we choose to keep our LO home, which is fantastic! But, at what cost to us?
Let the debates, mom shaming, judgment and guilt begin!
Within minutes of the announcement, one of my Facebook mom groups made a post saying that this is a choice parents must make, in order to do what’s best for their families and their individual situations, and they expect others to be respectful of everyone’s choices. Well, that lasted all of 2 minutes before people started commenting on what horrible parents you are if you are even considering sending your kids back; how dare you allow the government to use your children as lab rats, shame on you, you send your kids out into the world while you vacation safely at home, etc… And then the opposite side; if you are a stay at home parent you have no right to judge working parents for their choices, we don’t have the luxury of entertaining our kids all day, single parents need the support, those who have to go back to retail work need childcare, and… most importantly… for some people, their mental health depends on it!
That’s me! And, not only is it me, but it is also my daughter!
All the anxiety and fear that I had pushed aside these last weeks came bubbling through. I went into a full-on panic attack and had to call DH to help me. My ears were buzzing, my eyes were light sensitive, my breathing erratic and my heart was full on pounding out of my chest. I was gasping for air I was crying so hard. For the first time, in months, I needed a sedative. Because of my fears, because of my own guilt, because of the unknown, and because of everyone else’s belief that they can stick their nose in my business and make a decision that works best for MY family!
In our case, we will not be eligible to return until mid to late June as there is a priority system in place. Since we both get to work from home for now, there is no overwhelming need for care. But, we have seen the effects this new world has had on our mental states. Not DH so much, but myself and the LO. The nightmares, night terrors, sleep walking, defiance, fear of “the germs”, uncertainty, needing lights on everywhere and so on… this is not me and this is not her. She has started asking about her friends recently, her teacher and the park at daycare. Just today she said she wants to have naps at daycare (something she hasn’t done in about 30 days now). She is craving normalcy, and is acting it out in various ways because she cannot express it.
And we understand, because we feel the same.
So, all that to say… I have enough of my own mom-guilt, self-judgement, fears of the unknown and varying opinions on the whole thing. I don’t need other people shaming me because they think they know better. Do I trust our government? Not fully. Do I trust the medical advisors? Not completely. And even after researching information from all around the world, I see many sides to every argument in this pandemic (and at least I have tried to educate myself and not just followed our government blindly). But one thing I do know for sure is that I know my daycare inside out and I know they have the best interest of every single child at heart. Will we be sending her back? Yes. Will we send her back the day she is eligible? Undecided. Will she be there 50 hours a week like before? Probably not. Will I pull her out if I feel that she is in danger? In a heartbeat.
It’s like everyone has their own personal “choose your own adventure” book right now, and I don’t need anyone else turning the pages for me – thank you.You want to go back to school day one? Good decision for you. You want to keep your kids home through September? Fantastic. You want to test the waters before making a decision? Sounds good. You do you, we'll do us!
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