Emotional layers and fashion!

At my heaviest, I wore a size 1X/2X max. I had a couple of stores I relied on, and while my options were limited, I was never lacking. But I kept telling myself that I couldn’t wait for the day I could walk into any Winners/Marshall's type store and try on anything I wanted and have it fit – no name brand to big name labels and everything in between.

Flash forward to recent weeks, needing to find yet another winter jacket because I can’t handle the cold anymore, and I was nothing but disappointed. I’ve lost just over 70lbs, I wear a size 10-12 pants now, M-L tops and even my feet lost a whole shoe size! But I go and try on some “good” brands and they won’t fit me until I am looking at a size 3X!? Come on! If a size 10 is “perfect” to the rest of us, what the hell size is ideal for these companies? I mean, no wonder their models look anorexic! I found one jacket I fell in love with, almost enough to pay the bloated sticker price too… but just looking at that 3S tag made me sick. There was no way in hell I was going to encourage and support that fucked up mentality after everything I’ve been though.

Don’t get me wrong, all sizes are beautiful. I am in no way fat shaming… I am designer shaming. I know, deep down, that the jacket I loved was not a true 3X, but it’s the principle.

In the end, thanks to the advice of a couple of skinny girls (who I understand more than ever now), I just bought a fleece to put under the jacket I already bought 3 months ago (a now oversized XL, and only 50$ because its some random brand) and that will have to do until I can bring out my super cool Madden winter jacket – a brand I now respect even more because it’s a damn L and it fits perfectly! And with the weather today being -15C, it won’t be long now! I’m kind of happy the other jacket is a bit big on me now because I had to wear 3 layers under it this morning! The irony of it all is that I used to wear all kinds of wraps and sweaters to hide my body and feel secure, now I wear them because I absolutely need them to stay warm!

And to all the skinny bitches I laughed at for wearing layer after layer of clothing to keep warm – I am SORRY! I am one of you now, please forgive me LOL