I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

The lucky ones don't even know what this is a picture of. But to me, 6 years ago today, this was all my hopes and dreams captured in one grainy image. And I am so glad we took a minute to capture it, because this is who keeps my heart beating.  Every. Single. Day.  You keep me safe, I'll keep you wild.

I’ve read many books, on so many things, but I had basically avoided reading anything on BPD until recently. I finally decided if I was going to spend my time reading up on other people’s “stuff”, then maybe I should spend some time reading up on my own afflictions. But I didn’t want something clinical; very few people in my life truly understand what goes on inside my head, including myself, so I wanted to find others who I could relate to and who could possibly help me figure things out. I did a little research on which books might fit my needs and the first one I picked up did not disappoint! In fact, I devoured it in 2 short evenings because I could not put it down. "I'm Telling the Truth, But I'm Lying" by Bassey IkpiI was so on point, I feel like she was writing about me through half of this book! “I need to prove to you that I didn’t enter the world broken. I… had experiences that turned me into these fragmented sentences… I didn’t just show up as a life alrea

As much as I love the modern-day Disney movies, there is something about the classics that still capture me. Recently, in need of a nostalgic pick-me-up, I decided to sit down and watch the original Alice in Wonderland with mini-me; the animated one, not the one with real people and the creepy Jabberwocky (although that's my favorite). Ever since, without even hearing it, I’ve had the song White Rabbit (Jefferson Airplane) stuck in my head. Which, I guess makes sense these days, because I’ve been feeling a bit like Alice; falling down a well and ending up trapped in hallway filled with magical bottles labeled “eat me” and “drink me” with little known about what they will do. I am speaking, of course, about my meds.  In my case, one which makes me feel happy and optimistic, but at the risk of feeling indestructible. Another to shutdown the open tabs in my brain so that I can get a decent night’s sleep, when it works. And the newest one, the moderator of those above and the “stable