Chasing rabbits…

As much as I love the modern-day Disney movies, there is something about the classics that still capture me. Recently, in need of a nostalgic pick-me-up, I decided to sit down and watch the original Alice in Wonderland with mini-me; the animated one, not the one with real people and the creepy Jabberwocky (although that's my favorite).

Ever since, without even hearing it, I’ve had the song White Rabbit (Jefferson Airplane) stuck in my head. Which, I guess makes sense these days, because I’ve been feeling a bit like Alice; falling down a well and ending up trapped in hallway filled with magical bottles labeled “eat me” and “drink me” with little known about what they will do.

I am speaking, of course, about my meds. 

In my case, one which makes me feel happy and optimistic, but at the risk of feeling indestructible.
Another to shutdown the open tabs in my brain so that I can get a decent night’s sleep, when it works.
And the newest one, the moderator of those above and the “stable force” of my moods, that may make all of my hair fall out!

As a child, I always felt so small and alone in my fight against the world. And now, fully grown and “10 feet tall”, it doesn’t always feel so different. But, thankfully, I am the one in control of my own mental health these days and I am no longer at the mercy of the so-called adults who fed me nothing but lies and sugar-coated bullshit for all those years. Instead, I am surrounded by people who actually care about me, and my well being, who look out for me when I need them the most. 

I no longer have to fight my battles alone, and that means everything to me.