I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

I seem to be struggling, trying to live more within myself while simultaneously testing the waters around me to be more accepting of who I am to be able to overcome my fears of constantly being judged. I mean, nobody could possibly judge me harder than I judge myself, but my own worst enemy shouldn’t be between my own two ears. I used to think that I could talk through this stuff with friends, but I realize now that it would often just cloud my thoughts and gave me unnecessary uncertainty; so much so that it would cause me to not think for myself. And when things were just too complicated to unravel, or when I couldn’t talk with anyone, I would write; sometimes creatively, other times as an emotional escape. I guess I do the same now, through this blog, in a way. You write so beautifully... the inside of your mind must be a terrible place. Even as a child, I would write for hours and I would put into words all the places I went to in my head to escape my childhood. As I got older my w

We sold our souls and we lost control With more doubt than hope Glass half empty and discontented from growing old Through all the failed attempts at trying to belong I overthink the obvious when I'm alone But when the lights go up I don't think I told you I don't think I told you That I feel out of place   So pull me underground Don't know if you notice Sometimes I close my eyes And dream I'm somewhere else Anywhere away from here Anywhere away from here Anywhere away from here YouTube Playlist - IABYA

Through a series of FORTUNATE events… we have been vaccinated! I have known since Sunday that I had the appointment, but I wanted the needle in my arm before saying anything, just in case! And yes, I feel a drop of guilt about it all - but this isn't an opportunity I could pass up. Our second doses are schedule for early August.

The implications of Covid 19 for mental health are undeniable; the uncertainty of it all has negatively affected many people and created new barriers for those who were already suffering. The constant struggle, the barrage of social media, the endless losses, the fear of the unknown, the isolation, and the ever growing pessimism - it's a lot to wrap your head around. I stumbled on this story again while archiving my old blog last week, and with today's gloomy weather it felt like a good time to share it again. The Story of Two Wolves An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, com

As some of you know, I once had a long running blog about my own infertility and becoming a mother. I stopped writing there, and for the blogging community I was associated with, in 2017 for a variety of reasons and I began this one soon after, unassociated. Recently I have been saving each and every post from that blog, one by one, and putting them into a word document so when my daughter starts the "you don't love me, you never wanted me" bullshit, which we all know will happen, I can prove to her how badly I really did! No no, I'm joking, really! Am I? Anyhow, some 400 pages later, I realized that I have stumbled on a number of posts that still resonate with me today so I have flagged a couple of them to share here, again. I have no idea about the origins of this one, but I have always loved the moral of the story. The Cracked Pot An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a