I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

Living in La Belle Province presents us with two long weekends back to back to kick off the summer; one for La Fete Nationale du Quebec (Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day) and one for Canada Day. I like being around home for the latter, but prefer to be away for the former. Maybe because it is a “French” holiday, or maybe just because I feel the need to get away and can’t wait any longer! More than once we have been up north for this holiday, where the population is much more francophone, and it has been surprisingly quiet! I think they all leave their smaller towns and head out to Montreal and Quebec City to celebrate, or off to their cottages to party with friends. Either way, it makes the experience quite pleasant for us! Not that I have anything against French people, as I am half French myself, but I prefer serenity when I try to get away from it all. This year we visited Santa’s Village – his home away from the North Pole. There was a petting zoo, small activities like an electric tra...

I am not going to sugar coat anything... today was rough. DH is away for work again, and the LO decided to push my buttons 1000 times. I get it, she is 2.5! She is clearly testing her limits and exploring her independence, especially since I was frequently out of sight doing laundry and such, leaving her to her own devices. She was playing with things she knows she isn't supposed to, climbing to get items I purposely put out of her reach, refusing to eat what I put in front of her, knocking over juice and yogurt in frustration and throwing mini tantrums even at the swimming pool! Today was the last class and I didn't think we would make it in! Did she drive me crazy? A little, yeah. But... I learned something today. She was upset about something, I still don't know what, and we collided before going into the pool; I was kneeling down to talk to her when she thrust upwards, splitting my lip with her hard head. She was crying as my teeth likely hit her scalp and I was h...

Lately, I often find myself referring to my life as “before baby”, “on mat leave” and “after mat leave”, almost like quantified eras of time. Because, to me, they are just that; long and distinct periods of MY history with a particular feature or characteristic. I suppose “before baby” could be further broken down into countless subdivisions, but those are other stories for another time! I bring this up because I feel as though a new era is on the horizon; an era of change. Because, I understand now that the greatest gift I can give myself (and my daughter) is to let go of other people’s expectations of me and set my own goals, limits and expectations for myself – in other words, no one else gets to tell me who I can, and cannot, be. "As you are shifting, you will begin to realize that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. When you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and ar...

When we moved into our home we we forced to tackle an overrun mess of tangled vines, bushes, hedges and everything that sprouted up in between. It took hours of hard labor to clean up and even more time laying down fresh dirt, grass seed, fertilizer and constant watering to make a backyard we could stand to look at. One this was done, I wanted nothing to do with our shaded front garden as 1) it was difficult to find appropriate plants and 2) who has time for that nowadays? I tore the whole thing out without a second thought. But there is something I have always wanted, always intended to plant...but I just haven't followed through. A simple, but vibrant, lilac bush! We had one growing up, and I remember it was the only thing, aside from the raspberry bushes, that I cared for at all. I love the way they look, their smell, and the colors as well. Every year at this time there is a street near us that is in full bloom with lilacs. I always remember my intentions, and then quickly ...

Yes, I know, it's been awhile! And, yes, I know we are supposed to see each other more often, but I will be honest with you... I don't like you! Not you in particular, as I literally just started seeing you today, but your profession… gynecology as a whole… it makes me nauseous and so I am less than enthusiastic about making that annual appointment. When I was younger, I didn’t really care one way or the other, but this all changed when I was struggling to be heard and diagnosed with PCOS. The “professionals” all felt as though they knew my body better than I did, but they were wrong. After already successfully finding my own thyroid issues, I self-diagnosed my PCOS and I insisted on being tested. Finally, after more than a year of my body being invaded, someone (with a medical degree) finally agreed with me! Subsequently, I was poked, prodded and treated like a lab rat for the better part of a decade… and that was all BEFORE I even became pregnant! Another 9 months of humili...