I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

When I want to chat, I text - a lot. When I want to talk, I call and sometimes talk for hours. When I want to go out somewhere, I invite someone along for company. When there is something to celebrate. we get together and celebrate! This is who I am. I am social and I crave interaction. I spend quality time with people that I love! But not everyone is like me. Some are the complete opposite so I try to slow my roll. I remind myself that not everyone is “available”. I can text, but they won’t answer. I could call, but if they answer I’d feel like I would be interrupting. I’d offer to hang out, but the answer would almost always be no. And as for a celebration? Well – Covid has that covered for now! A few in my life are the latter. One who I live with. A couple who I cannot see myself living without. Disappearing for months, resurfacing like no time has passed. Only available once in a blue moon, and even then. Never part of a crowd, sometimes one-on-one, but usually not. It’

I think by now every parent has seen the viral, and powerful, video of the dad staying calm and patient through his toddler’s uncharacteristically bad tantrum. If you haven’t already seen it, you can find it here . Closer to the end, you see the child simply sitting in her father’s arms with her head on his chest, melting into calmness, in what is commonly referred to as the Heartbeat Hug. The idea behind this hug is to provide a sense of security, to reinforce that you are always a safe place for your child to fall, and to soothe them by synchronizing your heartbeats and breathing together. Clearly you, the parent, need to be calm as well for this to work! The thing about the Heartbeat Hug is that it is not limited to tantrums. This last week alone we have used the hug three times, not because of an emotional outburst but rather an inability to communicate. She has something she wants to say but struggles to find the words; you see that she is overcome with an emotion that she can’t l

 

mis·con·strue (verb) /ˌmiskənˈstro͞o/ to interpret (something, especially a person's words or actions) wrongly. I've come to the realization that there are some people I simply cannot have face to face conversations with right now, and not because of Covid! It may sound strange, but I simply don’t feel comfortable with the immediacy that some people bring out and/or require when having a discussion. I become overwhelmed which leads to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and often times disappointment and disagreements that could have been avoided altogether. I need time to process what I hear and mull things over a bit before I can accurately comment or respond, and some people simply don't allow for that so I need to learn to make the space for it myself. Not to mention, that a handful of people just know how to push my buttons harder than others, and I really don’t need that right now! Conversely, there are a few people that I could talk to for hours, effortlessly, whe

Never in my adult life did I ever experience "fat shaming", at least not to my face. But the "skinny-shaming" is out of control!  While I spent years eating my emotions, nobody sat there asking "Are you going to keep gaining?", "How much more are you going to gain?", "Shouldn't you eat less?", "Don't you want to look good?" over and over again. But now that I've lost so much its like a constant barrage of "Are you done losing yet?", "How much more are you trying to lose?", "Shouldn't you eat more?", "Aren't you happy with the way you look now?" over and over again! I'm not saying I should have been fat-shamed, but maybe people should have been more concerned when I was unhealthy than they are now that I'm on the right track! And I get that when someone sees me for the first time in a year (especially those that don't know I had surgery) there is bound to b