I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

So, I couldn't decide between my little mince tart wallpaper that I posted yesterday and a more generic holiday image, so you get both to choose from! Surprise! December 2018

Slowly but surely, I am starting to understand my detachment from the holidays in recent years. Growing up I was surrounded by numerous traditions that were carried out, primarily, by my grandmother; Christmas stockings filled by Santa, a big turkey dinner surrounded by stuffing balls, fruit cake, warm mince tarts, finding treasure in the plum pudding, and – of course - Christmas crackers! But as she grew older, those traditions faded away. And, with her passing, those traditions are mostly all gone now. Yes, I celebrate the holidays with my in-laws and extended family each year, but I honestly can’t help but feel like a foreign body amidst the chaos. But this year has been different. As I watch my LO grow, and get a better understanding of the holidays, I am remembering how important all of those traditions were to me as a child; so important that we need to start putting some of our own into place. For years I didn’t even feel like putting up our artificial tree (lazy, rig

I spent the 6 months leading up to my first Mother’s Day in constant fear, panic and anxiety coupled with insomnia and exhaustion from having a newborn. While a big part of me wanted to blame everything on being a new mom, deep down I knew that it was mostly inside my head. After jumping through a number of hoops and hurdles of our medical system, I was finally referred to a psychiatrist who specialized in postpartum depression and anxiety and she quickly put me on antidepressants. They were not instantaneous, but I began to feel relatively “normal” again soon after. While I had every intention of coming off the meds within a year, I wasn’t at all ready. So, I stayed on them for an additional year and finally came off of them 6 months ago. But, while happy to be off of them, the last few months have proven to be extremely difficult. While my initial thinking was that it was circumstantial again, as there is a lot of crap going on around me at the moment, the acknowledgement that it may

Not a night has gone by when I haven't stopped by her door just to hear her breath. Lately, just before I turn in for the night, I can hear her giggling away through her dreams. It instantly brings a smile to my face and has, admittedly, made it easier for me to sleep at night as well. Looking back, I have to say that the “terrible-twos” weren't so terrible after all. But, I fully expect the trials and tribulations of a “threenager” are in our near future. She is strong willed, stubbornly independent and just a little bit impatient. But she is also kind, curious, generous and empathetic too. She is courageous. She is smart. And she is cheeky, with an amazing sense of humor and a contagious laugh! She always wants to be outside and loves to run errands, even if you’re just going out to get some gas. Everything is an adventure; from checking out the spooky Halloween stores to visiting all of the animals in the pet store, grocery shopping or just walking around the mall. She

I listen to The Beat 92.5 from the time I get into my car in the morning until I arrive home at night. Last month, the morning hosts did an exercise writing letters to their younger selves, and after crying in my car with each one (thanks guys), it was hearing Nikki's letter that made me decide to write my own. It is not an easy letter to write. As she said herself, the first attempt was quite harsh and critical... not at all what I wanted it to be! After numerous revisions, this is what I am comfortable sharing. So you just turned 15 and I'm nearing 40. I feel like receiving a letter from my future self at this age wouldn't have been appreciated as much as it should have, but knowing what I know now I assure you that it could have made a world of difference! So, here we go... You met a new best friend over the summer that you spend hours on the phone with and you think you've found the stability you've been searching for in a neighbor you consider to be