Finality

I have always known that we would be a one and done family. I have said it 1000 times and even gotten upset when people have questioned me about having a sibling for our LO. I also just turned 40 and, subconsciously, that was always another cut off for me should we have decided to change our minds.

But opening my email Tuesday morning to a message from our fertility clinic about our 6 remaining embryos jarred me. We could either keep them frozen for a yearly fee of 350$, discard them, donate them for research and teaching or donate them to a woman/couple that needed them.

350$ per year seemed like a waste of money since we do not plan to use them. If i were younger, i would have considered this but not now.

Discarding them, while an option many choose, seems to be a waste. I worked hard for those embryos! If they aren't going to become little humans, they should still be productive in some way after all those blood, sweat and tears.

Donation for research and teaching had always been my intent. After all, it's research that developed the science behind IVF and it's how we succeeded in having our LO. The teaching part annoys me because it seems mundane, but I understand that students must learn and the best way to do that is hands on.

And lastly, donation to a woman/couple. Nope. Can't do it. DH is OK with it. His brother said he'd be OK with it. A couple of male friends I asked were OK with it. But I am not, and all of the women I have spoken to have been sympathetic. Including one who may need a donor embryo herself! In order to do this option, you must meet with a psychologist and go through various steps of approval. Clearly, it's not an easy decision to make and they want to be sure that everyone is on the same page.

So, in the end I checked the box for donation to research and teaching, but made a note that I would absolutely prefer research. The paperwork has been submitted and that's it.

We are, officially, one and done.

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