I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

So the presents have been opened, breakfast is finished, and now... well, now what? Who knows! I have wanted a quiet Christmas Day as long as I can remember and I am finally getting it. I was hoping for some snow to go and play at the park or something, but instead we get rain. I mean, why wouldn't we? It's 2020!  But, most importantly, we have our families, our friends and our health. That's all that matters. Merry Christmas everyone!

At my heaviest, I wore a size 1X/2X max. I had a couple of stores I relied on, and while my options were limited, I was never lacking. But I kept telling myself that I couldn’t wait for the day I could walk into any Winners/Marshall's type store and try on anything I wanted and have it fit – no name brand to big name labels and everything in between. Flash forward to recent weeks, needing to find yet another winter jacket because I can’t handle the cold anymore, and I was nothing but disappointed. I’ve lost just over 70lbs, I wear a size 10-12 pants now, M-L tops and even my feet lost a whole shoe size! But I go and try on some “good” brands and they won’t fit me until I am looking at a size 3X!? Come on! If a size 10 is “perfect” to the rest of us, what the hell size is ideal for these companies? I mean, no wonder their models look anorexic! I found one jacket I fell in love with, almost enough to pay the bloated sticker price too… but just looking at that 3S tag made me sick. The...

This is the first year that the LO will be buying gifts for Mom and Dad at Christmas, chosen 100% by her. I took her shopping over the weekend, with a budget, and she will go with her Dad sometime between now and Christmas to shop for me. It amazes me how good she is with numbers and basic math, so I started teaching her about money as well… and the value on things too. Its funny how she really wants a 10$ piece of junk until I tell her she needs to spend HER money that she is saving on it! So, with a budget of 30$, she made some interesting choices for a total of $26.44. On the way back to the car she asked me how much she had left, because her math is limited to single digits right now, and I rounded up to $4. She asks me what happens since she didn’t spend the whole $30. I explained to her that nothing happens, she stayed under budget and that was good. She thought for a minute and said “so, since I didn’t spend it, I have 4$ now?”. Um, no! I told her you just spent MY money, so y...

In some cases, the more things have changed the more they’ve stayed the same. But while many people seem to enjoy focusing on all the negatives these last (how many) months, I am always trying to find the bright side to things. And, in doing so, I have unexpectedly found several silver linings to my Covid world. Let’s start with my weight loss and overall health. I am now nearly 10 months out from surgery. A few weeks ago, I had my follow up with nursing and am happy to report that I have surpassed their expectations! The weight loss goal they set is to lose 60% of your excess weight by 12 months post-op. At only 9 months out, at the time, I had already lost 66% of my excess weight and will continue to lose until 12-18 months out. I firmly believe that I would not have been this successful had I been at work because I wouldn’t have had the discipline that I am able to have at home. Re-learning how to nourish yourself is a long process. For me, it involves reading every single label, mo...

I am not sure how this happened, but as my BFF put it, I must have blinked because our LO is not so little anymore! In just a matter of days she is turning 5 years old!!! Ok, so she thinks she is 4 going on 15 most days, but that’s just a part of who she is, and I wouldn’t change her for the world. Strong willed children become adults who change the world, as long as we can hang on for the ride and resist the temptation to “tame” the spirit out of them… She has very clear thoughts and opinions, she is fiercely independent, a leader, strong willed, curious, smart, funny, resilient, kind-hearted, creative and HAPPY. In these last couple of weeks, she has become more articulate than ever and conversing with her is always full of surprises! Now we are going to have to watch what we say around her! She is more than I ever could have asked for and everything I have always wanted all rolled up in one. If I had to weather all those storms just to get to her, then they were worth every single...

This is something I first stumbled upon many moons ago, that I think needs a reminder every now and then... especially now, in my world. So, I thought I would share for anyone else who needs to hear this right now. A Poem About Listening (Ray Houghton, M.D.) Please, just listen. When I ask you to listen to me, and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me, and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me, and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I asked was that you listen, not talk, or do… just hear. Advice is cheap: A dollar twenty-five will get you both dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, and I can do that myself. I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can, and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear an...

Fall is here and, once again, Mother Nature is about to show us how lovely it is to simply let things go; shed the dead weight, release the old and make way for the new. And for once I am listening, welcoming a fresh start once and for all! The older I get, the more I realize that I don't want to be around drama, conflict or stress anymore. I just want my house to feel like a home, good (for you) food on the table and to be surrounded by the company of positive, supportive, loyal and happy people. That’s it. That’s all.  The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own homes Harold B. Lee Let’s start with my immediate family. As someone who has been surrounded by dysfunctional families her whole life, my own as well as others’ experiences, I can honestly say that the whole “ blood is thicker than water ” quote people freely throw around is complete BS! Just because someone is a blood relative, does not mean that they have an innate ability to provide the lov...

Oh, happy day! It has been 6 months since I had my sleeve surgery, and I am happy to report that I am over the moon with my progress! Yesterday I spoke with my dietician and she told me that I was on track and she was happy with my daily intakes of protein, carbs, and such. She said that they expect sleeve patients to lose 60% of their excess body weight by one-year post- surgery, and at only 6 months out I have already lost 52%! She said that she cannot predict the future, but she feels very strongly that I will surpass the 60% in the next 6 months. Fingers crossed! Today I spoke with my endocrinologist, and my only disappointment was that she couldn’t see me in person so that I could give her a big hug! Stupid Covid! This doctor had managed my diabetes while I was pregnant and has followed me through to today. She is also the one who strongly encouraged me to consider the sleeve and she wrote my referral close to 3yrs ago now. Today, she was happy to inform me that my A1C level...