I AM - BECAUSE YOU ARE

The first half of the year wasn’t so bad, maybe even the first 2/3, but the end just royally sucked! I would love a redo from mid-August onward, but since that won’t happen… on to 2018! I have been holding on to this quote by Chanda Kaushik for some time, and it seems like the perfect chance to share it now. “I have outgrown many things. I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism but not support. I have outgrown my need to meet my family’s unrealistic expectations of me. I have outgrown women who wear masks and secretly rejoice at misfortunes. I have outgrown shrinking myself for men who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature. I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments. I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever life gets a little dark. I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity. I have outgrown dull, meaningless conversations that feel forced. I have outgrown those who don’t take a s...

As soon as I knew we were having a little girl, I dreaded one particular toy market we were headed towards in the future… dolls! I had over 100 Barbie dolls growing up myself, with all the accessories, and now that I am on the other side of the purchasing I understand the 1000 other times I was simply told NO! Dolls in general, Barbie or not, seem to have two prices – falling apart cheap and over the top pricy! But through my research I found that there are a select few manufacturers that are priced affordably, right in the middle, and the dolls themselves really appealed to me; namely Sears Canada’s Newberry Doll. I figured in a few years I would go out to the Department Store and let her choose her very own, hoping she didn’t discover the difference between these dolls and their pricier counterparts. And then Sears announced bankruptcy! Damnit! I went online and found a couple of dolls that I liked the most and raced to Sears as soon as liquidations started. Of course, tons o...

For the longest time our LO had little to no interest in television aside from her Baby Signing Time videos; until 18 months at least. Not a bad thing, but sometimes we wished she would watch something on her own  just so we could get 10 minutes of peace to whip up dinner or jump in the shower! Well that day finally came last summer when she fell in love with Masha and the Bear, an originally Russian animated television series for children, and not not a day goes by that we don't watch at least one episode! Thankfully, I am quite fond of the series myself so I really don't mind. I mean, I was excited when Season 3 showed up on Netflix! And, for those of you who know it, am I the only one who thinks the parents must have died in the beaten up ambulance only to be eaten by the wolves, leaving Masha in the care of Bear? Or is it just me? Anyhow, so, funny story... despite the fact that one doesn't remember the conversation and the other wasn't nearly as amused as we w...

I've spent countless holidays with loved ones I will never see again, and I've spent some of them alone too. Many of the traditions I grew up with have been lost along the way, while new ones have been found. But the best thing that ever happened, the best gift I could have received, was the arrival of this little girl 2 years ago... right before the holidays! For years the holidays were nothing but miserable for me, they were really difficult. But she brought Christmas back, because now I see everything through her eyes! The wonder of the Christmas tree, the fear of Santa (hopefully that changes), the delight in opening her presents and the genuine joy in her eyes. Her smile lights up the room and fills my heart. Christmas really doesn't come from a store... because with this LO in my life, it means a whole lot more!

Today my home becomes a warehouse to boxes of mason jars filled with love, aka cooking and baking ingredients. These jars are part of a fundraiser I decided to launch in order to help my BFF raise funds for her sons custom wheelchair. Overall I didn't sell as many as I had hoped, but still far more than I had expected... if that makes sense. Mostly co-workers purchased them as they make great gifts, which is actually how this all came about to begin with! I was looking for affordable Christmas gifts for daycare and that was when I found Recettes en Pot (Recipes in Jars). I need gifts for 10 teachers this year so costs add up quickly! Add a couple extra for home, some for co-workers and my order alone became 20 jars! They are only 10$ each, and half of that goes directly to the fund so it was a no-brainer. I could have supported another local cause of my choosing, as they are all listed on the website, but I decided to contact the company to start my own campaign...

Well, it's that time of year again. The wonderful, stressful, holiday season. I am trying not to let it get to me but it always does. My work, which used to be a pleasant distraction, is only adding to the pile this time around as well.That said, I have tried to keep spirits up at home for the LO and I think I am doing a pretty good job. Last year I bought 2 very special hand made Christmas elves from a local, amazing, seamstress; both girls, lovingly named Danica (mine, a potential girl's name I will never use) and Marshmallow Snowflake (for the LO until she names the elf herself). This year, I added to the collection with our little blue-eared deer, named Larimar (after my favorite stone found in my favorite vacation spot). What I love most about the deer is that he is in the same fabric used for Marshmallow and they make a perfect pair! These two will always belong to my daughter, near or far. And, I guess next year it will be time to add a boy elf for DH since he doesn...

It seems unreal to me now, but 3 years ago today we found out that our first FET with our new doctor had failed. Yes, this was technically our 3rd failure, 5th embryo, and we were pros at failure by now... but this one was different. It had taken some convincing to go back into treatment and start all over again. Even though I knew in my gut that this doctor would be the right fit, the thought of changing clinics and starting at square one again was daunting! But, in hindsight, it was worth more than words can describe! From our first appointment with him, everything was just different. He got it, he got me! He understood where things went wrong and how to make them right again. He had answers for my million and one questions, and believe me when I say I asked them all! He was so on point with everything that we learned from this failure and went on to have a successful pregnancy the next time around. A pregnancy that turned out perfect, but was at risk early on. A ...

As I come upon my 17yr work anniversary,  all in the same department, I realize that I am also at the half way point to early retirement; freedom 55!!! That doesn't mean that I plan to retire then, or ever as I don't know what I would do with so much free time, but I will have the option to. So, naturally, all of the work-related turmoil that started this past summer (and continues now, but in a different way) is starting to feel a bit like a career midlife crisis! I am pretty sure that I have become the "problem child" in the eyes of management, but as a mentor pointed out to me... I am simply trying to guide my ship through calm waters, it is others who are creating the stormy conditions. It has taken me a whole year since returning from maternity leave to understand that my 9-5 is now my part time job. My daughter is my priority, 24/7, and for that to work the way I want it to (the way it should) I need to be happy. And, to put it simply, I am not. I've com...

So, I started making my own desktop wallpapers a few months ago and I even included a calendar on each one so that I don't have to go searching for one every time I need to know what day it is. I make these mainly for myself, but I share them with a few others as well. I am sharing my December 2017 wallpaper here to see what kind of response it gets. If this is something everyone wants, then I will be happy to continue sharing my monthly wallpapers! Here you are! December 2017 Holiday Wallpaper