Silence can never be misquoted.

As I come upon my 17yr work anniversary,  all in the same department, I realize that I am also at the half way point to early retirement; freedom 55!!! That doesn't mean that I plan to retire then, or ever as I don't know what I would do with so much free time, but I will have the option to.

So, naturally, all of the work-related turmoil that started this past summer (and continues now, but in a different way) is starting to feel a bit like a career midlife crisis! I am pretty sure that I have become the "problem child" in the eyes of management, but as a mentor pointed out to me... I am simply trying to guide my ship through calm waters, it is others who are creating the stormy conditions.

It has taken me a whole year since returning from maternity leave to understand that my 9-5 is now my part time job. My daughter is my priority, 24/7, and for that to work the way I want it to (the way it should) I need to be happy.

And, to put it simply, I am not.

I've come to realize that some people around me simply can't be trusted anymore, which is a devestating blow to me after years of cultivating what I  thought were strong relationships and bonds. They say otherwise, but sometimes you don't need to hear their excuses or what they have to say for themselves because their actions already speak volumes.

Unionized environment or not, if they aren't willing to fight to keep me, then it's not worth the effort for me to fight to stay. I am a big fish in a small pond, and I have outgrown it. A little birdie has given me some tips on a couple of upcoming positions, and life is simply too short to waste my potential in a limiting environment. Besides, life isn't cheap (remind me to post about becoming a dance mom - yes, you read that right) and I could use the money and the challenge.

It's not going to be an easy transition, as I do not handle change as well as I would like, but it is necessary. For now I will be keeping to myself as much as possible, getting my job done to the best of my abilities as always and trying to keep my ship from wrecking.

Oh, and as of today I am a work widow again... so add a other hat to the pile I already wear.